(Posted: Feb. 22nd, 2024)
ye beguiled by the purveyor of KFC® 8-Piece Fried Chicken Bucket®; Consume its contents within a period of 10 days. If this is not done, in the invocation of Cōlon’nel Sāląndærsth™ from beyond your greasy receptacle, with each passing moon will come tandem with the breaking the seal of one of 3 individual curses.
UPON the 11th DAY: The Bucket® shall convulse, letting loose muffled shrill, monkey-like cackling, and the occasional awry grin may be seen plastered upon the face of The Cōlon’nel.
UPON the 12th DAY: The Bucket® become an earthenware vessel and emit dark smoke upon approach. When beyond sight, it chatter in haunting melody: the secrets of 11 Herbs and Spices®. DISTURBED, yet pose no PERIL.
UPON the 13th, and FINAL DAY: The Bucket® become an sinister visage UNFIT for the eyes of. Staring over 12 minute(s), WILL drive interlocutevr mad with unknowable insights. Rapid emulsion of black pestilence makes sensation akin to „超先験;’भगवान्हस्त』when 目beholden, The Bvcket®, NOW of fleshy, odiovs constitvtion; grossly vrinate, sings the hymn of herbs, cries, and becoming rapturovs. Within the bvcket reveals genvine THAT vnsightly form: THAT loathsome fungal如 lapping CAKES: “شبحPHANTASMAL EYES on the BRAIN的INSIDE.”
WE ALL WITNESSED.